nomad4ever

Asian women inspired the fantasies of men around the world for ages. In recent times you can see more and more Asian actresses like Lucy Liu, Gong Li, Zhang Ziyi, Michelle Yeoh on the big screen as well; as Hollywood got aware of their obvious features and attraction to the male population of this planet.

That wasn’t always the case in the western hemisphere.

Let’s go R&R!

Before the American GI’s ‘erected’ their first R&R (Rest & Relaxation) camps in Philippines during and after WWII or in Thailand during the Vietnam war, this part of the world sparsely saw more than a few naughty Europeans or Americans. Reports during the old Colonial Times rarely mention this topic at all. This of course all changed back then and more.

Since the 70’s hordes of single male travelers are filling the planes and flocking to travel Asia; to experience the culture, food and above all – its women. It’s for the sake of searching for an exotic, sexual Eldorado – or in some cases Desperado, to get away from the same boring and demanding western women at home – or worse – no woman at all.

Even though none of those lonely traveling guys would admit that they were flying to Thailand (with a ‘Sex Bomber’ full of other naughty Caucasians) other then to see its gorgeous beaches and temples, plenty of people were. Seeing old, bald and ugly men hand in hand with young, pretty Asian gals walking down the road surely took its origin during those times and has now become common in touristy areas in Thailand and elsewhere in Asia.

No money no honey?

While it surely boosted the self-esteem of those Oldies, Asian women of this kind soon got the reputation of looking for walking ATM’s (cash machines) in exchange for (often not) cheap sex. And who could blame them for that? After all, with the age differences soooo obviously, would someone really believe that there was love involved all the time? The stories of men tricked and separated nicely from their money, after having paid for houses, pickup trucks and water buffalos of whole villages are legend. Books and Newspaper columns were written about the subject, check out for instance Stephen Leather’s ‘Private Dancer’, or search for Bernhard Trinks now discontinued ‘Night Owl Column’ in the Bangkok Post, if you are interested.

In Singapore even before – the term SPG (Sarong Party Girl) was coined for women, who go with foreigners and this term surprisingly still sticks in today’s more moderate times. Even old Stamford Raffles reported already about the mix of races and the flesh trade (amongst other vices like Opium Consume) in his then new-founded trading post at the southern tip of Malaysia.

Similar scenes were seen in other places, like Angeles City, Roxas Boulevard or Makati/Manila in the Philippines, Nana Plaza in Bangkok or Orchard Towers in Singapore were above mentioned transactions took place. I remember when I first set foot into Singapore on a business trip in the late 1990’s. I asked my local colleagues where to go to have a great evening out? They said: You have to go to Orchard Towers, on the top floor there is a Bar called ‘Top Ten’. That’s the ‘in’ place! Okay, so I walked in there after diner, they had a great life band and a huge crowd with plenty of beautiful ladies in evening dresses and I sat down at one of the tables in the middle of the big open area.

Wow, must I’ve been gorgeous that evening – or so I thought. Looking around I noticed a few women obviously flirting with me. I felt great! It took me about 30 minutes to figure out what place I was in. The shock was deep, but hey, I was ‘fresh off the boat’, first time in Asia and hadn’t seen a place like that before. Needless to say the big grins of my colleagues the next morning and everyone asking: “So, how was it?”

Thanks a lot, but I actually wanted something else. Leave that place to the sailors who can truly value its benefits during a short-time stay in Singapore.

Maids and Desperate Housewives

Most Expats in Asia sooner or later fall ill to the so-called ‘yellow fever’. Who wouldn’t with that much temptation in abundance around you. As lately as the 80’s and 90’s, Expats still could enjoy here a complete different lifestyle than back at home. Pure luxury! The company paid usually for housing, car and driver, a maid was taking care of all things in the house, cooking, cleaning and (almost) everything else. And what young pretty things they had as maids! Surely the colonial times weren’t over yet! Of course it’s more exciting to ‘take the maid for a ride’ than always that ‘old ugly cow’, who was currently shopping in Suntec City or Takashimaya. Whatever.

Maids are usually chosen via catalogue with colour pictures and all bodily measures. Cooking or Language Skills are of course secondary. What can we learn from that?

I’ve heard so many legendary maid stories, that I can’t understand how wives and girlfriends still even allow one in their house. Plenty of marriages were broken, while the husband was just alone in the joint apartment with the wife on stand-by somewhere else. But then, most of the time the poor stupid husband is working anyway, leaving the spoilt wives alone in the big, empty house.

‘How can I tell her about you?’

The trouble is, same thing happens to the local wives as well. Asian men come notoriously late home from work and still most of the women don’t work at all. So what can you do besides shopping, work-out, cosmetics and manicure, when the day is long and your husband is too tired for some physical exercises (read: sexercises) and goes N.A.T.O. on you (‘No Action Talk Only’), when coming back from work?

Isn’t that kind of work-out much more tempting and exciting than going to the Gym?

You bet!

Checking out the fruits in neighbours garden or in town are for sure. Due to changing values and a steady inflow of young foreigners in cities like Singapore, Jakarta or Bangkok – it’s very tempting for Asian Tai Tai’s as well, to try out something ‘new and exciting’, instead of always the same old, same old. Why is everyone whispering that Caucasian men are so much better and bigger equipped and what other rumours are flying around there? You’ve got to see for yourself, right?

Just sit for breakfast or lunch at the most famous Expat hangouts or Hotel Lounges (e.g. Emerald Hill, Wheelock Place or Marriott Terrace), examine what’s passing by or is sitting there already and things develop on their own.

There is this story of one of my ex-colleagues in Singapore who was in ‘Brix’ Bar (Hyatt Hotel) or was it in ‘Bar None’ (Marriott) one evening, when 2 pretty Thai gals were approaching him. “Hi” said the first one. “I’m Nok and this is my sister Pee. I’m here with my husband, who is sitting at the table behind. Don’t look! I would like to see you alone one of those days, so I told him that I want to introduce my sister to you. But I will write you down *my* number, so don’t look at me, but look at her instead. Call me tomorrow after 9am but before lunch, okay?” He did and had literally 2 balls of a time in her Master Bedroom. Ah yes. So cute and smart those Thai Chicks!

Bar Top Dancing

Places like Carnegies (now Fluid) or ‘Cheeky Monkeys’ and ‘CU’ in Mohammed Sultan Road, ‘One Night Stand’ (Clarke Quay), ‘Insomnia’ or ‘China Jump’ in the Chijmes Area were the places to go in Singapore, when you wanted to see scantily-clad women, sometimes dancing on top of Bars, doing the Paris Hilton, flirting like there is no tomorrow or just trying to score an ‘Ang Moh’ (White Devil) before the lights go out. Watch out that you the hunter is not becoming the hunted! As a single white male you surely could feel like a little boy in a Toy Shop, where everything is free.

Katoys R Us

Toy Shop is the right word for the next episode. There are fake toys as well and not only ‘Made in China’. In Phuket they even had their own lane and Cabaret, with a big, colourful gantry gate above with the glowing signs KATOYS R US. There is this story about that French guy, who took unknowingly a Lady Boy back to his hotel room. The Lady Boy, somehow feeling that the evening could go wrong, if he wouldn’t come up with the truth, looked the French guy deep into the eyes and said slowly with a soft deep voice: “I’m like you!”. The Frenchy, not speaking English so properly himself, was excited about that and answered right away: “Yes, Yes – I like you too!”.

Somehow that wasn’t the case anymore when the part of touching and grabbing started. Oh well!

Still better than what happened to that other tourist guy in Phuket. Only back with a Lady Boy in his hotel room, he noticed that actually he wanted something else. But the Lady Boy didn’t want to give up so easily and locked the hotel door from the inside, turning back to our fellow tourist flexing his muscles, examining his prey with big eyes and a knowingly grin.

Appetite comes with eating?

Our tourist mate didn’t think so.

He got pretty scared and decided that the only and easy way out of this situation was to jump out of the hotel window. He should have remembered that his room was in the 2nd floor. Ouch!

But what are a few broken bones compared to a story you can still tell your grand children, right? This story was all over the media in Thailand and was the reason for a lot of good laughs among the Expat Community a few months back.

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Watch this space and stay tuned for ‘Part 2’ when we return in a few days with stories about Karaoke places, Massage Parlours and other episodes about world’s favorite topic!

Meanwhile you could check out this post about the Different Flavours of Sex Tourism in Thailand and Bali.

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Disclaimer:
Please see that piece of writing as a satire. In no way I want to downtalk or humiliate Asian Women, Maids, Wives, Katoys, Expats or Employees working in the Bar Scene, Karaoke or Massage industries. Make up your own mind about the realities of S*x in Asia and other parts of the world.

Remember: HIV/AIDS and other diseases are on the rise in most touristy areas in Asia and elsewhere. So if you are planning to get engaged in those kind of activities; protect yourself and your partner!

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written by Chris